You Get What You Expect


Do you know this person? Are you this person?

I used to think I was cursed because people always came to me with their problems. I couldn’t solve them, but I could certainly provide a comforting word and once I learned that I didn’t need to solve everyone else’s problems, I began to realize that this was a gift and not a curse. It is a blessing to have other people look to you for comfort.

Nevertheless, it can be frustrating at times to deal with people who dwell on the negative. Sure, everyone has problems, trials, and tests from time to time in life – that is how we grow as people.

I have come to believe that people dwell on negative things because of weak faith. I don’t say that to judge anyone, because I have several friends I care a lot about who are kind people but are consumed by negative outlooks. You probably know someone who is the same way.

One of my friends maintained a revolving war with debt, divorce, illness, career problems, and on and on. Being a codependent personality, I have to fight the temptation to get right in the middle of someone else’s problems (SEPs). The best thing you can do for a negative person is to try to show them a positive side to their story. However, you have to be careful not to let them plant their seed of negativity in your life.

Faith is a good place to start. Faith is the belief that good prevails even when you cannot see good approaching. When you meet someone who is always moving from crisis to crisis, try talking to them about faith. God will allow hardship in life, but the key is to learn from your trials and grow in your faith. If you expect nothing from life but the next crisis, you are robbing yourself of a blessing. If your faith is strong enough, you can move mountains. If your faith is based in negative expectations, how can you expect anything other than more pain?

Life is not perfect and there will be bad days. There will also be good days. You get what you expect.

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One thought on “You Get What You Expect

  1. My wife and I know someone who constantly dwells on the negative. We had to laugh two weeks ago at a soccer game. “What’s the score?” someone asked. “I don’t know,” was her reply. “But there have been twelve injuries–six for each side.”It must be very hard to look for the dark cloud behind every silver lining.

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